Detroit text me last night... the usual "you said you wanted a sample"
Long story short... becuase I know you are lost... we had a gr8t time the last time I SAW him, and things go down hill from there. He always claims he is not a sexual person (I know this is bullshit), and he tells me this on a whim, I am not activley trying to get some and he blurts this out (via text). I am sick of trying to figure him out, and just when I am not even thinking about him, I hear from him. He knows just the right time to text to throw me off my game. Saturday night (to last me to monday) and then in the middle of the week. I resisted every temptation in my body to return his text last night. Every fiber of my being wanted to tell him to fuck himself, and only a tiny bit was a bit curious about what he was doing, and then maybe 1% wanted to go see him... but I turned over, closed the phone and did my best to pretend I was sleeping. This morning, after thinking of the proper text to send I typed
"you said you were not interested"
I am back on top of my game.
5/31/07
Cruising through the Meat isle.
The MEAT ISLE:
So to make sure all of my rules are followed... I have to go to places , to find men, to flirt, to up my chances. Never the less, all of these people live in Manhattan, this should not be hard right? Wrong! Do you know how many men are hungry? None of them went to the grocery store today. I am not going to say that I did not see some men, the problem was they were ringing me up! But other then that, the only sausage I saw was by Hilshire Farms lol.
Following the rules of the manual, I am doing my best to make sure I am properly putting myself out there. Doing so means that I am walking with my head held high (I do this anyway) Making sure not to look too tense or mean or angry (harder then I thought) and walking a lot slower then usual at a comfortable, carelss pace.
What I then notice while walking slow on Broadway at 7:00pm is how much people in Manhattan rush. I was going slower then everyone. The only people who were gong the same speed as me were senior citizens. I did get some cat calls and I did notice more men looking at me but I am not quite sure if they were doing so because maybe they thought I was stupid for walking so slow, or if they were particularly interested. But I am going to walk slow from now on and look somewhat pleasant. On my way home... I noticed something that should help me on my way... There are a lot of men exercising in central park around 7:00... that my dear is my next adventure.
By the way, let me add that though I may not have seen any hotties out while I was running errands (drug store, grocery store) I saw a lot of attractive women, and I would only assume that maybe 1/3rd of them were in relationships, so men take heed, do not ever complain about not meeting a nice woman, until you have cruised through the produce line.
So to make sure all of my rules are followed... I have to go to places , to find men, to flirt, to up my chances. Never the less, all of these people live in Manhattan, this should not be hard right? Wrong! Do you know how many men are hungry? None of them went to the grocery store today. I am not going to say that I did not see some men, the problem was they were ringing me up! But other then that, the only sausage I saw was by Hilshire Farms lol.
Following the rules of the manual, I am doing my best to make sure I am properly putting myself out there. Doing so means that I am walking with my head held high (I do this anyway) Making sure not to look too tense or mean or angry (harder then I thought) and walking a lot slower then usual at a comfortable, carelss pace.
What I then notice while walking slow on Broadway at 7:00pm is how much people in Manhattan rush. I was going slower then everyone. The only people who were gong the same speed as me were senior citizens. I did get some cat calls and I did notice more men looking at me but I am not quite sure if they were doing so because maybe they thought I was stupid for walking so slow, or if they were particularly interested. But I am going to walk slow from now on and look somewhat pleasant. On my way home... I noticed something that should help me on my way... There are a lot of men exercising in central park around 7:00... that my dear is my next adventure.
By the way, let me add that though I may not have seen any hotties out while I was running errands (drug store, grocery store) I saw a lot of attractive women, and I would only assume that maybe 1/3rd of them were in relationships, so men take heed, do not ever complain about not meeting a nice woman, until you have cruised through the produce line.
5/29/07
The MANual
I have added yet another dating "Bible" on my cruise to find the perfect guy. This book is probably the most ridiculous, most embarrassing, most full-of-it, most HONEST book I have ever read. Too bad that I want a man, because from the likes of this book, they are sex fueled assholes. On the other hand, the book is all about turning that knucklehead into Prince Charming. I know, you cannot change a man, the author, Steve Santagati, says that himself, but you can make him want, respect and be monogamous toward you(while also having a lot of sex, hey that's what the book says). So yet again, on my hunt to see if the books really work, I have to follow the rules. And Steve makes them crystal clear. This section of my "dating experiment" will definitely be the funniest, most demeaning, but you never know I may enjoy it. So... here it goes...
The Basics:
Steve Claims that all girls love bad boys... Is this why James Bond movies have been around for so long? Why even after Colin Ferrel starred in Alexandre(a too crappy movie), I still melt for him? And also why Brad Pitts acting career went soaring high after fight club? YES YES YES
Bad boys are just fun boys, they know how to laugh flirt and.... well you know. He is explaining that though we pretend we want a "good guy" we don't, good guys are the friends who we hang around with and never ever ever see ourselves dating. Think about that great guy friend you have had for years, who you tell about all of your relationship woes. Not think about sleeping with him...gross...awkward right? Well Steve says even those pretty boys who look like they are all sensitive i.e John Mayer are bad boys! They just play it in a different way.
Now to what I need to do:
The wardrobe: Men love skin, men love breast, butt and legs...we all know. So pretty much for the next few weeks I need to flaunt my assets...no pun intended. Men love all the stuff that gets nasty stares from women. Now he did not say dress like a slut, but do dress sexy. A short skirt never hurt anyone. Today I purchased a sexy sweater like dress (appropriate for cool summer nights). It shows just the right amount of leg.
Flirting techniques:
"Hey big boy, is that a banana in your pocket our are you just happy to see me?"
Yeah I said it, and if you felt just as awkward as I did typing it you will find out one of my big secrets, I CanDace (all say hi CanDace) cannot flirt... yes me. So I need to get my technique down, I am going to put myself out there and see how it goes.
The best part:
Potential men are in every place... the grocery store, the bookstore, Starbucks, all over. I am going to find them, everyday I am going SOMEWHERE around 6 pm to find a guy. I may start with my local bookstore and work from there. What will I be doing, looking for guys, talking to guys, guys, guys, guys!
So check in everyday... i am going on a man hunt...and I aint comin back empty handed...
ps. the name of the book is really the Manual
The Basics:
Steve Claims that all girls love bad boys... Is this why James Bond movies have been around for so long? Why even after Colin Ferrel starred in Alexandre(a too crappy movie), I still melt for him? And also why Brad Pitts acting career went soaring high after fight club? YES YES YES
Bad boys are just fun boys, they know how to laugh flirt and.... well you know. He is explaining that though we pretend we want a "good guy" we don't, good guys are the friends who we hang around with and never ever ever see ourselves dating. Think about that great guy friend you have had for years, who you tell about all of your relationship woes. Not think about sleeping with him...gross...awkward right? Well Steve says even those pretty boys who look like they are all sensitive i.e John Mayer are bad boys! They just play it in a different way.
Now to what I need to do:
The wardrobe: Men love skin, men love breast, butt and legs...we all know. So pretty much for the next few weeks I need to flaunt my assets...no pun intended. Men love all the stuff that gets nasty stares from women. Now he did not say dress like a slut, but do dress sexy. A short skirt never hurt anyone. Today I purchased a sexy sweater like dress (appropriate for cool summer nights). It shows just the right amount of leg.
Flirting techniques:
"Hey big boy, is that a banana in your pocket our are you just happy to see me?"
Yeah I said it, and if you felt just as awkward as I did typing it you will find out one of my big secrets, I CanDace (all say hi CanDace) cannot flirt... yes me. So I need to get my technique down, I am going to put myself out there and see how it goes.
The best part:
Potential men are in every place... the grocery store, the bookstore, Starbucks, all over. I am going to find them, everyday I am going SOMEWHERE around 6 pm to find a guy. I may start with my local bookstore and work from there. What will I be doing, looking for guys, talking to guys, guys, guys, guys!
So check in everyday... i am going on a man hunt...and I aint comin back empty handed...
ps. the name of the book is really the Manual
5/28/07
The secret men council
Being a girl sucks, I mean who and the hell invented the three day rule? Did all these men just sit around and come up with asinine rules?
Rule number 1. Never answer the question "what are you thinking about?"
Rule number 2. When a woman asks where you should go on a date always answer with "I don't know where do you want to go?"
Rule number 3. Never give a complete straight answer
Rule number 4. Wait three days to call a girl after initially getting her number.
I imagine a room full of men, they are sitting at a big white round table, there are pretzels, Bud Light and cigars. In the background the room is housed with over 10 flat screen TVs playing everything from basketball to The Man Show. The only pictures up are of Scar Face and Pamela Anderson, and they contemplate millions of ways to truly piss women off.
I believe this club has been around for centuries, every man is not on the panel, but like the government, there are representatives from every county, and they pass the message along at Bars, Strip Clubs, sports functions and probably on the Internet... yeah we think they are watching porn... it's probably a meeting. All of the founding fathers are in the meeting, we all know Bill Clinton was probably the president at one time, it's probably George Clooney now.
Then some guy, for some dumb ass reason was like, "okay I think women should wait for our calls... but how long? One day is too short, she will think I really like her (though I asked for her number, bought her a drink, and flirted with her all night, maybe even kissed her) two days, not long enough. I got it!" He shouts almost spilling his beer. "Three days, the perfect amount of time, she will think we may have lost interest, and then boom we call." All the men adjust themselves to say Aye.
No worse rule has come out, nothing has ruined the dating scene for women since this very day, well except for the text message.
So it is obvious I am waiting on a call from Paris, if it happens yah! I may have a pair, if not I am left with a lonely spare, and not on my way to my accomplishments. Either way, you will know...
Rule number 1. Never answer the question "what are you thinking about?"
Rule number 2. When a woman asks where you should go on a date always answer with "I don't know where do you want to go?"
Rule number 3. Never give a complete straight answer
Rule number 4. Wait three days to call a girl after initially getting her number.
I imagine a room full of men, they are sitting at a big white round table, there are pretzels, Bud Light and cigars. In the background the room is housed with over 10 flat screen TVs playing everything from basketball to The Man Show. The only pictures up are of Scar Face and Pamela Anderson, and they contemplate millions of ways to truly piss women off.
I believe this club has been around for centuries, every man is not on the panel, but like the government, there are representatives from every county, and they pass the message along at Bars, Strip Clubs, sports functions and probably on the Internet... yeah we think they are watching porn... it's probably a meeting. All of the founding fathers are in the meeting, we all know Bill Clinton was probably the president at one time, it's probably George Clooney now.
Then some guy, for some dumb ass reason was like, "okay I think women should wait for our calls... but how long? One day is too short, she will think I really like her (though I asked for her number, bought her a drink, and flirted with her all night, maybe even kissed her) two days, not long enough. I got it!" He shouts almost spilling his beer. "Three days, the perfect amount of time, she will think we may have lost interest, and then boom we call." All the men adjust themselves to say Aye.
No worse rule has come out, nothing has ruined the dating scene for women since this very day, well except for the text message.
So it is obvious I am waiting on a call from Paris, if it happens yah! I may have a pair, if not I am left with a lonely spare, and not on my way to my accomplishments. Either way, you will know...
5/27/07
A brief introduction into "The Pair"
Detroit
Where I met Detroit is not important, my attraction to him is what makes me so crazy. Writing this I see now, he should probably not even be a spare, he should not be in the running, but something keeps me there. I will promise to follow the rules from this day on though, so maybe it will get better, maybe not.
I met a former Detroiter,Detroit is 26, a cancer , he is a whirlwind of mystery. I don't want to call him a bad boy, because he is not... but on the same hand one of the first things I remeber is him telling me he has been fired from every job he has ever had lol, I know what you are thinking. ..He is irresponsible. Not really, here me out. Now Detroit owns a construction company, he does pretty well for himself and he is a drummer in a band. He is 5'8, thin and muscular, very quite and I can tell from looking at him, that it is going to take a lot to even crack his code, but I am up for the challange.
Our first date:
I met Detroit at the West End for dinner. I believe it was an instant attraction, the chemistry was starting to develop. We closed the restaurant. We walked together, him to the train, me to my apartment (one block away). There was some awkwardness, the wierd hug/handshake/pat on the back, and like always he left me with some kind of mysterious feeling I had no idea where it would go... I still don't. That same night, I recieved a text message, You look great, it said, we have to go out again soon.
Second Date:
about two weeks after our first, we had a second date. He took me to University Square a restaurant where we ran out on the check becuase we had the worst service ever. We proceeded to his house after, but that night though I stayed over, we had the most awkward time, no kiss, no touching nothing. I am left with nothing, he left for London on tour for two weeks, I do not hear from him.
Third date:
I text Detroit, to see if he is back in town, he is but he did not call. I make plans with him, he agrees, the day of the plans he cancels becuase of band practice. He then proceeds to text me that it is not going to work out, I am pissed but I stay cool, nothing.
Two days later who texts me? Detroit! "
What are you up to, I want to see you."
I am still pissed, but I toy with him for my own amusement. Why do you want to know?" I ask
"I am drinking alone."
"That is what happens when you act like an asshole" I type
"I want to see you"
He throws me for a loop, I fall, and at 12 am I go over to see Detroit.
He talks to me, he tells me how it takes time for him to open up and trust, he tells me about his parents, not loving him, he tells me that he was acting like an asshole (duh) when he broke it off, he was having a bad week.
We listen to music, I start to see another part of him, he smiles, and laughs, I had not seen that before. I am starting to fall again, he isn ot a bad boy, he is afraid of getting hurt. I can understand. We watch a movie, we move closer together, we kiss, we make out like two teenagers, we fall asleep. I wake up and he is gone, it is my and the dog. he comes back and makes me breakfast, we eat pancakes, bacon and eggs and wash the dos when we are done. We talk and act comfortable together. We have texted back and forth, but I have not seen him.
Pair Number two:
It is fleet week in the city, that means sailors galore! Me and my roommate decide to look hot and go out and support our troops. I am wearing the tiniest skirt ever. I lok good, I feel good, we go to a random bar on Amsterdam.
I am sitting on a stool and I see a guy, he looks like he is waiting on someone. I ask him, who he is waiting on, he acts like he doe snot want to answer, I continue drinking my BlueMoon and think nothing of it. He then begins out of nowhere to talk to me, we hit it off. he is from Paris, that is his nickname.
Paris is 23, he is a libra, just moved to the city two years ago. He is an actor, and a screen writer. I just noticed right now how attractive he is, tall, sexy, french accent. He is into me, we have a lovely conversation, he lives in Queens. I am having a lovely time Detroit is texting me, I want to ignore but he draws me in every time. I feel foolish, but I go into the bathroom and read his text. he just woke up, he wants to see me, I want to see him, I feel like a booty call.
I did not go see Detroit, he decided to go back to sleep, i am curious about him, i want to know why he is the way he is.
I decide to text Detroit, I want to get to the bottom of the situation, I am not going to sleep with him, I want to know if that is what he wants, I will send one text, and then I will send no more the rules will apply.
Where I met Detroit is not important, my attraction to him is what makes me so crazy. Writing this I see now, he should probably not even be a spare, he should not be in the running, but something keeps me there. I will promise to follow the rules from this day on though, so maybe it will get better, maybe not.
I met a former Detroiter,Detroit is 26, a cancer , he is a whirlwind of mystery. I don't want to call him a bad boy, because he is not... but on the same hand one of the first things I remeber is him telling me he has been fired from every job he has ever had lol, I know what you are thinking. ..He is irresponsible. Not really, here me out. Now Detroit owns a construction company, he does pretty well for himself and he is a drummer in a band. He is 5'8, thin and muscular, very quite and I can tell from looking at him, that it is going to take a lot to even crack his code, but I am up for the challange.
Our first date:
I met Detroit at the West End for dinner. I believe it was an instant attraction, the chemistry was starting to develop. We closed the restaurant. We walked together, him to the train, me to my apartment (one block away). There was some awkwardness, the wierd hug/handshake/pat on the back, and like always he left me with some kind of mysterious feeling I had no idea where it would go... I still don't. That same night, I recieved a text message, You look great, it said, we have to go out again soon.
Second Date:
about two weeks after our first, we had a second date. He took me to University Square a restaurant where we ran out on the check becuase we had the worst service ever. We proceeded to his house after, but that night though I stayed over, we had the most awkward time, no kiss, no touching nothing. I am left with nothing, he left for London on tour for two weeks, I do not hear from him.
Third date:
I text Detroit, to see if he is back in town, he is but he did not call. I make plans with him, he agrees, the day of the plans he cancels becuase of band practice. He then proceeds to text me that it is not going to work out, I am pissed but I stay cool, nothing.
Two days later who texts me? Detroit! "
What are you up to, I want to see you."
I am still pissed, but I toy with him for my own amusement. Why do you want to know?" I ask
"I am drinking alone."
"That is what happens when you act like an asshole" I type
"I want to see you"
He throws me for a loop, I fall, and at 12 am I go over to see Detroit.
He talks to me, he tells me how it takes time for him to open up and trust, he tells me about his parents, not loving him, he tells me that he was acting like an asshole (duh) when he broke it off, he was having a bad week.
We listen to music, I start to see another part of him, he smiles, and laughs, I had not seen that before. I am starting to fall again, he isn ot a bad boy, he is afraid of getting hurt. I can understand. We watch a movie, we move closer together, we kiss, we make out like two teenagers, we fall asleep. I wake up and he is gone, it is my and the dog. he comes back and makes me breakfast, we eat pancakes, bacon and eggs and wash the dos when we are done. We talk and act comfortable together. We have texted back and forth, but I have not seen him.
Pair Number two:
It is fleet week in the city, that means sailors galore! Me and my roommate decide to look hot and go out and support our troops. I am wearing the tiniest skirt ever. I lok good, I feel good, we go to a random bar on Amsterdam.
I am sitting on a stool and I see a guy, he looks like he is waiting on someone. I ask him, who he is waiting on, he acts like he doe snot want to answer, I continue drinking my BlueMoon and think nothing of it. He then begins out of nowhere to talk to me, we hit it off. he is from Paris, that is his nickname.
Paris is 23, he is a libra, just moved to the city two years ago. He is an actor, and a screen writer. I just noticed right now how attractive he is, tall, sexy, french accent. He is into me, we have a lovely conversation, he lives in Queens. I am having a lovely time Detroit is texting me, I want to ignore but he draws me in every time. I feel foolish, but I go into the bathroom and read his text. he just woke up, he wants to see me, I want to see him, I feel like a booty call.
I did not go see Detroit, he decided to go back to sleep, i am curious about him, i want to know why he is the way he is.
I decide to text Detroit, I want to get to the bottom of the situation, I am not going to sleep with him, I want to know if that is what he wants, I will send one text, and then I will send no more the rules will apply.
This is new for me...
Well what is really new? Telling my girlfriends all about my dates is normal, so writing them can't be so bad. I know this is not Sex in the City, but I date A LOT! I need to figure out where it is all going, so I decided write it down, get it all out, get a few laughs, some advice and see where it all goes.
My introduction: I am new here, though I concured the dating game in Chicago, New York is a whole new territory. It is big, intimidating and packed with Single and beautiful people. So I am going back to my core, the dating world at it's finest. I am giong to go through some modern technology, but honestly, I am going back to the old school way of dating... boy meets girl, boy woe's girl, girl puts boy through a-many-hoops boy wants to seriously date girl, girl really likes boy, boy and girl become boy and girl friend.
After going through all of my desperate single-me books, I decided I would actually take heed into what they said, and "follow the rules". One of the books I will be flollowing is "Stop getting dumped" by Lisa Dialy. She has a set of rules and to my best ability I will follow every rule, every single one, even if it kills me! I will also be obvious and go along with "He's just not that into you." by Greg Behrendt
The Rules
1. Don't call him- self explanatory, let him call you, and call you, first and always. You can only call him back. (this is hard!)
2. Until one man is ready to commit have a pair and a spare. - Okay not too hard, find three guys, date one a week, have one weekend with your girls, or even by yourself. If you can focus on three men, it will be easier to get the one you really want.
3. Do not sleep with any of them- this should not be too hard.
4. Never go on a date unless they ask you within 78 hours.- he needs to plan on seeing you, if he wants to be with you.
5. ALl that obvious he's just not that into you stuff, he does not call leave him, he cheats leave him (duh!) he does all the obvious crap leave him.
These are the 5 most important, so through out until I find"the one" I will be following these plans. Come on a journey, lets see where it goes.
My introduction: I am new here, though I concured the dating game in Chicago, New York is a whole new territory. It is big, intimidating and packed with Single and beautiful people. So I am going back to my core, the dating world at it's finest. I am giong to go through some modern technology, but honestly, I am going back to the old school way of dating... boy meets girl, boy woe's girl, girl puts boy through a-many-hoops boy wants to seriously date girl, girl really likes boy, boy and girl become boy and girl friend.
After going through all of my desperate single-me books, I decided I would actually take heed into what they said, and "follow the rules". One of the books I will be flollowing is "Stop getting dumped" by Lisa Dialy. She has a set of rules and to my best ability I will follow every rule, every single one, even if it kills me! I will also be obvious and go along with "He's just not that into you." by Greg Behrendt
The Rules
1. Don't call him- self explanatory, let him call you, and call you, first and always. You can only call him back. (this is hard!)
2. Until one man is ready to commit have a pair and a spare. - Okay not too hard, find three guys, date one a week, have one weekend with your girls, or even by yourself. If you can focus on three men, it will be easier to get the one you really want.
3. Do not sleep with any of them- this should not be too hard.
4. Never go on a date unless they ask you within 78 hours.- he needs to plan on seeing you, if he wants to be with you.
5. ALl that obvious he's just not that into you stuff, he does not call leave him, he cheats leave him (duh!) he does all the obvious crap leave him.
These are the 5 most important, so through out until I find"the one" I will be following these plans. Come on a journey, lets see where it goes.
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