is 40 the new 20?

After a great email and a couple of dates, I have been inspired and have a hell-of-a lot to tell.

Lets start with Brooklyn,
Okay so we know abut how the last date went...meal bathroom, meal bathroom. To test my theory I decide we go some where un-food related first, and then grab a bite. I need to time his bathroom trips.
We start our trip at the Brooklyn Aquarium (my idea) he is late again, I am annoyed and it is cold! He gets there and I am like lets just get this over with. It is sad when I am dreading a date but I am thinking about it the guy is boring, he is like watching paint dry, forget that he is bulimic for a while, he is also very uninteresting.

But anywhoo, first bathroom trip 10 minutes. I have not seen him eat yet, we were viewing the sharks, and he claimed he had to go. I am already suspicious...

We head to a Thai restaurant and just liked last time he orders the whole menu, after stuffing myself there is still enough food left to feed another person and he decides, of course after another "bathroom" trip, to finish off the meal. I suffer through another hour of him talking about is high-def television I suffer through him analyzing every taste of every piece of food he has stuffed in his mouth, and I suffer when he starts to let me know just how poor he really is, I even suffer when the wait staff in this wonderful restaurant are looking at me funny because they can hear him in the bathroom and I can't but I refuse to suffer by stuffing myself while someone else is "releasing" himself. This will be my last date with Brooklyn, I have decided.
He is the three B's
Broke
Bulimic
Boring!

I run to meet old roommate when I leave my crappy ass date to find out about her wonderful one, and I decide, that I am too assertive that I am going to ask Mr Bulimia if he is actually making himself barf!
SO I send a text:
"Hey I had a good time, I have to ask you something I hope you are not offended but when I was in college I used to make myself throw up after every meal... are you okay?"

Okay first of all, I keep all of my meals down, these hips and thighs don't lie, but I had to say something to get him to confess.

He claims via text that he has to use the bathroom a lot and he pees twice bullshit I am not believing him and I decide to let him lie and throw up as much as he would like, I am not going to worry about it, I am moving on...


So the next day UES
I have been hanging out with him a lot, after making out way to much in a bar on the Upper East side and meeting at my house to "watch movies" he has left town for the weekend and I am looking for someone to fill the gap,hopefully someone younger. Something about UES is a little off, I am just waiting to find out what that "thing" is. Time will tell...


The "Slav"
I am hanging out with the new coworkers at a great bar downtown. At the last minute I found out about a great after work event sponsored by Grand Marnier.

The event was fun, while hanging with the girls, some man sits down and starts talking to me, after much witty conversation i find out he is from Yugoslavia, and he makes me laugh, he seems old so I give him my work email. So he leaves and it may have been the alcohol but when he says goodbye, he looks sexy as hell, so I wait for that email....

Lets talk about what happens when the "Slav" Leaves, I get waisted...not normal waisted but can't stand up straight waisted!
I get on the train by myself after way too much Gran Marnier (6 shots and around 4 cocktails) I waddle to the NRW and after holding myself up on the train I have to transfer to the 6. I at this point am sure I am going to die, I honestly thought about hurling myself in front of the train because I could not fathom actually making it home in one piece. I am dying of drunkenness.
BTW
it is only around 8:30pm so everyone is looking at me like I am nuts

So the 6 FINALLY comes and I sit down on the train ... bad idea... standing would have saved me...
One good bleh (gag) and some wonderful woman hands me a plastic bag.. I barf in it on the 6 train, I am too drunk to be embarrassed. I make it home and I think I am going to survive.
I barf again...
I sit on the toilet to ... use the bathroom.. and I fall asleep or as some experts would say I passed out.
Cut to: me in bed, I am very comfortable the covers are warm, I am having a great dream I roll over, I hit my head...

Oh wait I am still on the toilet, I have literally rolled off the toilet onto the floor hitting my head on the bathroom wall. I wake up and for like one minute I have not idea where I am! That's is probably because I am looking at the bathroom upside down. I get up go in my room, place the lovely plastic bag and a towel next to my bed and I barf my way to sleep such a classy girl I am!

I still make it to work early the next day!
Moral of my dating story the older seems to be better, Brooklyn was only 33 the other normal gents were nearly 40!