Okay So I am Pathetic

I CJ Solemnly swear that I am pathetic, in every sense of the world. I am baad...bad, bad...

So Detroit and I have called it quits... I think, I am upset with him, but I am not sure why, I do not know what is wrong with him, and I do not know what is wrong with me, maybe we are both nuts... yeah that is it...I miss him, but I have no idea why!

I think I miss his sarcasm, or how he can take any conversation and make it into a dirty joke. Or maybe I miss how he swears he is such an independent person, but he makes sure to contact me everyday at the same time. I think about how I wanted a phone call and he was already Im'ing me everyday, was I asking for too much? Or was I not getting anything at all? Maybe I miss the fact that for some reason I am connected to him, like some kind of magnet, right when I get far away from him, he can draw me back in over and over. Is it unhealthy to feel like that about someone? I know for a fact it is not love but what is it? I wonder what the two of us have, I wonder after our sometimes two hour conversations does he think about me later, I wonder after I leave his place does my smell stay on his pillow, does he notice it. I also wonder if I actually mean something to him, or am I just a waste of space, another thing to bother him in his day to day tasks. I wonder if he will miss our connection, if he will contact me again, I wonder if he will ever understand, if he will ever be consistent, and if he ever really did try. For a moment, I could tell that he was really trying and every day I could see it slip away farther and farther away...